Don’t let someone’s wife be the only identity for your daughter

We live in a world where women are running offices, industries, and even countries; a world where women are flying into Space, where women are becoming Presidents of their countries, and a world where women are successfully battling the evils of society. Kalpana Chawla,  Chanda Kocchar, Indra Nooyi – all these women are some excellent examples of what women are capable of, as strong and independent individuals. However in Indian society, there are still millions whose minds cannot accept that women are capable of carving out any identity for themselves beyond being someone’s wife. Such thoughts are regressive and disappointing, and more often than not, form a part of the ideologies of the girls’ own parents.

Yout Daughter

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What this article is stressing on, is not that being someone’s wife or a homemaker is an abominable thought; instead, it wishes to stress on the fact that each woman should be allowed to make her own choice. If you are parents to a daughter, it is your duty to let her choose whether or not she wishes to work after marriage, and how she wishes to do that. Ensuring this implementation is not just the duty of the parents, but also the parents- in- law, since they have an equal say in her life post her marriage. As parents, you need to accept that she is so much more than just “Mrs XYZ”; she is an intelligent adult, who should be allowed to pursue her desires and passions as much as a man would be. If she chooses to be a homemaker, or a stay- at- home mother, there isn’t anything degrading or wrong with it, for managing a household is a full time job in itself. However, if she wishes to pursue a career, then as parents you must support and encourage her to follow her dreams.

You must have spent a lot of money, time and energy on educating your daughter, letting her gain adequate experience and exposure. What shall she make of all of this, if she is confined to the four walls of her house and not allowed to put her knowledge into function? As an individual, she is losing out on her resourcefulness for no reason whatsoever. After providing her with wings to soar, you are clipping them in good measure, which hardly seems fair.

As a parent, you must help her in becoming self- sufficient. In a modern setup, both men and women are contributing equally to their households, as well as the economy. With freedom of choice, women’s capabilities are finding more acceptance in society. Gender equality will also get a boost if women are allowed to carve out their own success stories in the professional world. In addition to this, think of the wonders it will do to her self- esteem and individual identity. Her confidence is bound to reach the zenith as she realises what all she is capable of, and what value she holds in society when you do not limit her spheres.

Gone are the old times, where women needed to stay within the house to maintain a balance in society. Nowadays, couples are supporting each other in such a way, that they both handle the personal and private spheres in a deft manner. With her parents’ support, she will feel more empowered and be ready to take on any challenge that comes her way. Many times, women face issues in their marriages, or end up separating or divorcing their spouses; life is not always a smooth ride for all and unfortunately, such situations may arise. In such troubled times, a woman with working experience is bound to take a strong stand and not be worried on whom to rely for financial support. She is capable of supporting her own self and in this way, her future is also secured against any calamity that may befall her.

At the same time, you must ensure that your daughter has a balanced outlook towards her career. While being ambitious and strong- willed is a great thing, being obsessive is not. Let her understand that her career need not control her life or choices. She must maintain a healthy lifestyle, giving equal importance to work life and family life. She may be fired from a job, but her family will always stand by her.

So push your daughter into spreading her wings. Let her be an achiever and contribute to the society. Let her be sharp, and well received. Let her know that the world is her oyster and let her shine on.

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