Men and Independence Day

India will be celebrating it’s 71th  independence day this year . A proud moment for all of us Indians , isn’t it ? Time has come when we Indians should take responsibility of our choices , instead of blaming. So whatever good or bad is happening in our country is actually our choice . And power lies in our hands to change the bad into good and good into bad . So , let us be proud of the 70th birthday of the world’s largest democracy .

The struggle for freedom was really harsh for each one of us be it men , women or children . But the way the men fought for it , was incredible , from the battlefield to the political ground they made things tough for British .The Men has DNA of providing and protecting , so they protected everyone from hardships . They took all the tough decisions for themselves and died to execute those decisions . Look at the way Shivaji fought at the battlefield or the way Chandra Shekhar Azad made strategies to counter Britsih policies . We have a whole history of sacrificing brave men . Not only the battles on ground but also the battle against social evils , men took lead , For example Raja Ram Mohan Rai took lead to stop evil practice of Sati , Munshi Pramchand married a widow to present example before the society , Madan Mohan Malviya fought for female entry in colleges and education . These are few examples how men came forward for every wrong practice in society and country .

At last , British decided to leave India on 15th August 1947 but our struggle with corrupt system still continues . If you see the history of freedom struggle majorly men were hanged by the British Government . Not only this the major torture was on men , men died for the honor of women and country . And if you see the borders and disturbed places of India , men are still taking that risk happily .  Have we ever thought what these men are getting out of it ? What did men get after dying for freedom and social evils ?

Look around yourself from government policies to laws everything is for women . Men are completely ignored everywhere . When we talk about crime it is always crime against women , when we talk about education it is girl’s education . We just assumed that there is no crime against men and all boys are well educated .The statistics of WCD ministry clearly says more boys are working as child labour in hazardous industries . We have completely ignored our men and boys . In the area of laws , we rely on laws made by British and those laws  do not bother to protect men . It is assumed that violence and crime both have a gender that is , Male .

Well , crime and criminals does not have any gender and anybody can commit a crime . It is responsibility of a civilized society to punish criminals irrespective of gender . We talk about gender equality assuming that men are all equal and women should be equal to men . In fact , when we say the word Gender it is always Women . Let us look at the law a woman can use if she is in trouble –

  1. IPC 354
  2. IPC 376 which includes different sections to protect women
  3. IPC 498a which is highly controversial but still used
  4. DV law , this includes many sections which provide relief to women
  5. CRPC 125

These are the laws which can be easily used by women , there are many other laws specifically made for women . There are 100s of NGOs working to help women . Now let us see what a man can use if he is in trouble , Absloutly Nothing . Read whole Indian penal code you will not find one law to protect men . We assumed that women cannot hurt men so men do not want any law to protect themselves .

Where is the Independence day for men ? We keep talking about how patriarchy effects women and make rules for women but we never think that how patriarchy actually forces men to do what they do not want to do . How many times did we ask boys of the family whether they want to protect and provide the whole family or not ? We just assume that boy will grow up and take care of the family . And if he refused to do so  , he is ridiculed and shamed  by the society . Patriarchy forces men to fight battle for others and when they die in the battle they are made Heroes .  We never ask our heroes ,” Dude do you have any pain “ . We just accepted the famous bollywood line ,” Mard ko Dard Nahi Hota ,” which is  big lie . The soldiers fighting at borders are not spared , imagine dilemma of a man who is fighting a war on front but there is a war going on back home in his house. He is hero at war front but he is a victim of domestic violence at home . Also he does not have any place to go and complaint .

The process of proving manhood is slippery and difficult . One step gone wrong and he is declared unmanly . Men kept fighting battles which were not actually their battles and what did they get in return ? The hatred by society and laws , the whole man community is made responsible if one crime happens . We talk crime against women so much as if crime against men children and old people does not exist . If we see the statistics crime against men is much more in society . Crime as a whole should be checked not crime against one section .

It is been 71 years now , let us give back to our heroes .There should be at least one forum where they can go and express their pain . We should collectively demand from government to make some exclusive laws for men which they can use when they are in  trouble . If we want true equality than we have make to make women accountable too .

We should stop judging man if he does not want to go as per society norms . Time has come when men should be free from patriarchy , Kitchen is for women , ground is for men should go . Let men do what they actually want to do in their lives . The real freedom for men would be when they will have choices in life and forum to complain . Let us at least listen to pain of one man today and try to understand his struggle . This message should be conveyed strongly that it is not man versus woman it is how both can work towards betterment of the society . This would not happen till we play the blame – game . Let us give men what is due from a long time .

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Jyoti Tiwari
Jyoti Tiwari has co-authored research reports to Govt.Of India and has appeared on international radio shows as well for creating awareness about the issues that men go through. She is a published author of the book Anuurag which is a bestseller.

2 COMMENTS

  1. Beautifully explained and as your read the flow gets you engaging. We often talk about freedom fighters and we so comfortably overlook the fact that maximum sacrifices come from men and yet what is it that we are offering the men of today – it’s just despise and hate. That is because, as a society we are conveniently numb to a man’s pain.

  2. I’ve absolutely loved this article, especially the lines “patriarchy actually forces men to do what they do not want to do . How many times did we ask boys of the family whether they want to protect and provide the whole family or not ? ” “Men kept fighting battles which were not actually their battles” “We should stop judging man if he does not want to go as per society norms”

    Thank you for writing such a wondeful article.

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