The statement “Parents are your best friends” will invoke two responses. First would be “No”, by the younger age group, those who are probably teenagers. While “Yes” would be a resounding answer by kids below 10 years of age, and adults beyond 25-30 years of age. The reason is very simple – the clichéd rebellious teenager does not want to consider a parent as their friend, even if they behave as one. Only when they grow up, most people realize that parents are truly their friends, or ‘BFF’ (Best Friends Forever).
Most of the people abhor the idea of having a parent as a friend, assuming that the parents’ role is to simply parent and do nothing else. They give birth to the child, discipline the child, and provide for their needs. That’s all. Some of the random arguments are:
- How can I be friends with these people who are much older than I am?
- Their thinking and value system is old fashioned.
- How can I confide to them my private thoughts and sex life?
- They will not understand.
Some of the apprehensions aren’t misplaced for some of the parents do demonstrate behaviour to prove the above right. This could be because these parents themselves are from the school of thought which claims that parents can’t be friends with their children, An overwhelming majority though, concedes after a certain age there is no friend closer than one’s parents. To understand the issue one may list out some traits of a good real friend:-
(a) Traits of Integrity : These qualities are related to core values held by most cultures—trustworthiness, honesty, dependability and loyalty.
(b) Traits of Caring :These qualities include empathy, the ability to withhold judgment, effective listening skills, and the ability to offer support in good times and bad.
(c) Traits of Congeniality : These include self-confidence, the ability to see the humour in life, and being fun to be around.
Correlate these qualities that define a good friend with those of your parents, and sincerely confirm to yourself if they fit perfectly into the role of a good friend or not. It is most likely that they would. It seems more conventional that parents are supposed to take the role of a parent more seriously than the role of being a friend. However, more often than not it just so happens that the parents can be the best friends one will ever have. People who have good relationships with their parents are very lucky people, because they are able to experience various situations on both the family and friend side of the relationship spectrum.
Almost every child goes through a phase where they are mortified by their parents. Once the teenage angst passes, one starts to realize how cool and right the parents are most of the times. This marks the beginning of mutual respect and, in turn, a friendship which lasts a lifetime. It would also be deeper/ more meaningful than a bond with any other peer group. Just visualize the following situations and you will conclude that parents are the best friends to their children.
- You share clothes, shoes and/ or accessories: it’s like having a room-mate in hostel.
- Your parents know all about your love life – the crushes/the heart breaks – even if it is ex post facto. You may not tell them everything, but they would nail almost every element of what’s going down in your world.
- Because they are older than you, you can go to them for advice on what is going on in your life. It is comforting to hear stories about their past that relate to your present. Talking about the uncomfortable things like sex and periods would not be a big deal for you.
- They are the ones you call at 3 AM or curl up with in case of any stress and they stay up all night comforting you.
- You talk at least once every day to your parents, and don’t ignore their calls. At least, you call back at the earliest opportunity, even if it is missed. You may even have a Whatsapp group with them.
- Occasionally you wish that they were your age and you could flaunt them in your peer group as your buddies (which you still do, but others tend to see them as your parents only).
- When your parents are in an argument, they come to you with their sides of the story and that is where your friendship comes in handy.
All the good qualities of a friend are found in the parents in this manner and with effort on your part; because of their experience and the fact that they’ll never ever put you down, they make the best friends you can have in your life. Further if you really get entangled in something awful they will act as your parents instead of your friend to bail you out of the tricky situation, for which you would respect them because it keeps you grounded. They are your friends in need or otherwise – indeed!
