Once the children start growing up, there comes a point when the relationship between the child and parents sees a rough patch. These problems are very common in every household that has teens and tweens. The kids, while growing up, try hard to develop an independent personality of their own and when this persona clashes with the one the parents want the kid to have, there is mayhem.
To understand how to deal with such problems, one first needs to know the reason for it –
1. Pressure – The children today are constantly dealing with a lot of pressure – pressure from society, from family, peer pressure, etc. And that is what leads to the outburst. When a kid is constantly being nagged to be someone he/she isn’t, then such problems are bound to happen.
2. Hormonal Changes –This behavior is totally normal because of the hormonal changes that take place in the child’s body. Many a times, they rule the mood and the behavior of the child making them irritable and blunt.
3. Seeking attention – Sometimes, all these rude actions or replies are only a consequence of being neglected. The child will always want his parents’ attention and when he doesn’t get it, he will take to other ways like answering back and shouting.
4. Understanding life – The kid is yet to understand life and this phase is very confusing for them. And it is this confusion that gets them frustrated and makes them answer back or behave badly.
How to deal with behaviour issues
1. Set an example – The parents should set an example for the kids by never being mean or rude towards each other or towards the children. It is true that the children will learn from their parents, so the parents should be extra careful as to what they do. Also, pretense in this case will not help, children are smart and they will never follow anything that seems fake to them.
2. Talk to the child – Involve the kid actively in problem solving by asking them for a solution to this current problem. Sit with them and tell them your concerns. Ask them theirs too and find a middle ground where everybody is comfortable with the situation in the house. This will make the kid feel important.
3. Don’t forget to appreciate the good qualities – The parents should never ignore the good qualities or accomplishments of the kid. Appreciation can bring the parents and the child closer and will make the child more confident in his/her approach. A child is a reflection of his family and if things are smooth within the family, then the child will continue doing well in life.
4. Give them time to comply – Compliance always takes time. Let the child take some time to comply with the new rules that have been set for them. Let them have their say and their space while they’re in the house. This will help them react better to unprecedented situations and find a smarter way out of problems at large.
‘Behavior issues’ have become a common problem for parents with teenage kids. The only reason this problem persists is because of the communication gap between the parents and the kids. Hence, if the parents make the kids a part of the problem solving process, then these problems will decrease considerably and make lives easier. Talking to the child can sometimes work way better than anything else because at this stage the child is already grown up and can relate to the parents. Confide in your child and give him an opportunity to be your friend. You will see your equation change in almost no time.