It seems as if your stomach has been punched; your mind is in a confused questionable state; your heart beats faster and lo! you were inconsiderate with your child.
You may not have the intention but there it goes: the milk has been spilt already. Fortunately, you are a human being and human beings are allowed to make mistakes. However, will you be willing to commit a mistake at the cost of your own child’s well-being?
Below are five parenting mistakes that must be avoided:-
1. Neglect:- Children are naturally inclined to depend on their parents for their need for love and attention. Neglect in the childhood causes a low self-esteem in adults. It may also make them solitary; they may tend to avoid company altogether. Children themselves do not know this but you do.
Even if the child is busy in some activities such as playing or studying by himself, you should ensure that you meet him from time to time. There are two benefits of this. In the first place, your child subconsciously knows that he is important; and in the second, you become aware of what he is doing.
2. Partiality: All your children deserve your love and favors equally. Your partial inclination towards a particular child may make her contemptuous and an attention-seeker. It could also create sibling conflicts as the other children might feel jealous of the favoured child.
Sometimes, parents try to create competition among children by choosing a favorite. This is done to encourage other children to become like him or her. Sadly, the message that you are giving your child is: ‘You are not good enough to be loved so become like her.’
3. Criticism: You may wish your child to excel in a particular field in which he may not be. This is the moment to practice compassion with your child. Your child might be a treasure-trove of other talents and abilities that have yet not been explored.
You are hurting the confidence of your child if you are keeping a very high bar and criticizing the child when he is unable to meet it. You are also hurting the child if you are being a perfectionist. Perfectionism is a bubble that is better burst!
4. Information Shared: As long as the child is under your protection, you are responsible for the information that reaches the child. Your purpose should be to share the right information at the right time as the child grows.
Aggravating information, information regarding adult relationships, your conflicts with your friends and your judgements about them should not be shared with the child.
Let your child be exposed to good literature and engage in creative activities; let your child’s imagination soar!
5. Swearing and Shouting:- Your child should not be a victim of your worries, insecurities, anger and stress. After a stressful day at work, your child should not face being spoken to harshly because you are stressed, angry or frustrated.
The scars of such verbal assaults are invisible and long-lasting. Would you wish to make him a victim of such scars?