Okay, first a confession: I don’t really have a daughter! Of course, considering that I am not married and I live in India…that’s a good thing…else I’d have seriously irked the ‘Sons of Patriarchy’.
However…not having a daughter is certainly not a drawback when it comes to writing this article, for I do know exactly what I would like to teach her if I had her (or if I ever have her).
Well, from time to time, someone will remind you that you are a girl and therefore a sub-standard species. They are dead wrong! And never ever let these idiots become the voice in your head. After all, what these nincompoops (who practice female foeticide and female infanticide) seem to be forgetting is a basic rule: they can change the laws of society, they cannot change the laws of maths.
You do not need any validation from any man
The wise Confucius once said, “What the superior man seeks is in himself, what the small man seeks is in others.” While Confucius spoke of the man, what you must remember is that it holds true for all men and women who walk this earth. Never let someone else validate your existence on Mother Earth. You are who you are…the world will just have to deal with it…and the only approval and appreciation you need is “your own.”
Chaos is not only OK, but GOOD
There will be times when the world will tell you that everything needs to be in order. That is the world that only experiences things in black and white (kinda like a dog). But you have to be the lone wolf that sees the rainbow, even if it means not following the damning crowd. Thus, always remember what Nietzsche said, “One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star.”
Grab the bull by the horns
Life is always going to be a bed of roses for you. But remember, roses are accompanied by some rather sharp thorns. Hence, when life throws you a curve balls, don’t let it scare you or sadden you or shatter you. Always remember: “When life gives you lemons, don’t just stop at making lemonade…make lemon meringue pie…make lemon tart…make lemon chiffon cake…make lemon liqueur…make lemon vinaigrette…make lemon pickle…Then set up shop and make your millions.”
You are not an incomplete woman
Well, there’s no denying that we are a procreativity preoccupied patriarchal population! What it basically means is that in India, you are not born a woman, you are expected to become one! And how do you do that? Simple! By marrying and procreating. However, what you must remember is that you don’t need marriage and motherhood to feel complete…your uterus is not your one-way ticket to complete womanhood.
Marry for the Right Reasons
Of course, if you do decide to tie the knot, do not walk in circles (the Saptapadi or the seven circumambulations) with the wrong man or for the wrong reasons. You do not marry to escape loneliness. You do not marry for money. And you certainly do not marry for your parents or the society. You marry the right man for the right reasons…A man you’d willingly want to spend your life with.
The Blueprint of Paradise
Satan, the envious, said with a sigh, “You make your own hell, and not I.” Hence, your happiness is in your own hands. You must not let success get to your head or failures to pull you down. You must learn to let go…after all, life is too short for long-term grudges. And never ever be the proverbial ‘Tempest in a teacup’.