“I think the hardest part about being a teenager is dealing with other teenagers – the criticism and the ridicule, the gossip and rumours.”
– Beverley Mitchell
Criticism has become the hallmark of everyday communication. When was the last time someone did not utter harsh words because it was too difficult for him/her to be patient and kind? Criticism holds the sword of power and honour which gives rise to authority. Negative criticism can be a major hindrance in the growth of a teen. Growth here pertains to emotional, mental and over all self-growth.
How we communicate with a child over the years is how he/she ends up communicating with themselves. ”It’s as if, by hearing your voice over and over again, he builds a parent inside himself, a mirror image of you,” says child and adolescent psychiatrist Gene V. Beresin, associate professor at Harvard who practices at Massachusetts General Hospital. This clearly shows, the effect of negative criticism is profound.
When teens are plagued with negative criticism all the time, a series of assumptions start building up inside them. This leads to the feeling of being unworthy and incapable. Once this happens, it would lead them to judge themselves crippling them from being free thinkers. Resulting in having phobia towards others and developing several disorders like anxiety, mood and personality.
When we criticize someone, the other person’s individuality is damaged. So for a teen, their self esteem would become damaged with consistent criticism. The consequences are problematic for the teen’s overall development. So when a teen would be consistently bombarded with negative criticism the following things will happen:
- Identity crisis– A feeling of being a loser with low self esteem.
- Negative thinking – Everything will seem negative, as if no good exists in the world. The self image will become negative resulting in being a pessimist
- Feeling powerless– The confidence level would be nullified leading to feeling powerless and emotionally weak
- 4. Self doubt and insecurities– A feeling of insecurity would always persist due to self doubt
- Losing respect for self and others– A feeling of being useless and incapable and feeling the same for others.
All this will result in withdrawal behaviour for the teen, resulting in extremely quiet and recluse behaviour. Another possibility could be developing manipulative behaviour, to avoid criticism and blame. It will become like a self defence style for teens who are subjected to negative criticism consistently.
Solution
The need of the hour is to bring about a change in the society. In place of negative criticism, constructive criticism can be used. Constructive criticism is a form of evaluation that offers both positive and negative feedback. It focuses to help or improve the final outcome by not putting anyone down or hurting anyone intentionally. When teens are subjected to negative criticism they develop a tendency to doubt themselves on a regular basis and moreover they end up condemning everyone around them.
This becomes a vicious cycle which needs to be dismantled. Nobody appreciates negative criticism; a thought can always be explained in a better way. It is not necessary to be harsh with teens all the time.
Parents and elders need to understand that motivational words always have better outcome than negative criticism. If the message, parents deliver to their teens are hopeful, optimistic and full of faith then the child would develop a sense of confidence and pride. Teenagers mostly realize their potential when they are made aware about their credentials. Negative criticism needs to be replaced with constructive criticism to enable the youth of our country to be the transformative force of the 21st century upholding characteristics of a leader.
